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Literature Text
Arrive sad at our date, dear.
Come embittered, suffering the hardest of depressions. Leave no agony at home. Bring all possible sadness to our encounter. Dust off the repressed memories, take all the sorrow you can find, hold on to those tears, and finally release it all ... only once you're with me.
My challenge begins there, honey.
The test that'll prove me worthy of being with you.
Once on the verge of emotional collapse, let the pressure of your grief bring you down. I'm dying to catch you and make you stand tall, so we see the world from the angle intended for you. Let your insecurities drown you in their lies; I'll be the air that revitalizes you with the beauty of the surface. Don't forget your fake smile, that barrier that becomes stronger the more people crash into it. At that point, I'll embrace you tightly ... and hand over the feelings you awoke in me, those that helped me destroy walls of my own. That strength which I didn't have until you entered my life, will then become a part of you. A part of us.
Your smile will no longer be fake ... but it's going to be wider, brighter, and purer than you could ever act out.
Arrive sad at our date, dear.
I promise you will leave happy.
Come embittered, suffering the hardest of depressions. Leave no agony at home. Bring all possible sadness to our encounter. Dust off the repressed memories, take all the sorrow you can find, hold on to those tears, and finally release it all ... only once you're with me.
My challenge begins there, honey.
The test that'll prove me worthy of being with you.
Once on the verge of emotional collapse, let the pressure of your grief bring you down. I'm dying to catch you and make you stand tall, so we see the world from the angle intended for you. Let your insecurities drown you in their lies; I'll be the air that revitalizes you with the beauty of the surface. Don't forget your fake smile, that barrier that becomes stronger the more people crash into it. At that point, I'll embrace you tightly ... and hand over the feelings you awoke in me, those that helped me destroy walls of my own. That strength which I didn't have until you entered my life, will then become a part of you. A part of us.
Your smile will no longer be fake ... but it's going to be wider, brighter, and purer than you could ever act out.
Arrive sad at our date, dear.
I promise you will leave happy.
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Comments34
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I have the same problem here as I had with the piece about the Room - there's no specificity. Blank slates, but no characters.
A teacher once told me that the more specific you make something, the more universal it becomes. Counter-intuitive as it may seem, I've found it to be very true. A boy making a girl feel better is a pretty standard story, and what we have here is the barest of bones that construct that story. Who IS the narrator? Who is his date? Why is she sad? How long have they been together? What's their story, individually, and together?
Sorry if it seems like I'm harping on this, but it's super-important
Flat characters aren't saved by pretty writing, if they can be salvaged at all. And these aren't even flat characters; they're outlines.
A teacher once told me that the more specific you make something, the more universal it becomes. Counter-intuitive as it may seem, I've found it to be very true. A boy making a girl feel better is a pretty standard story, and what we have here is the barest of bones that construct that story. Who IS the narrator? Who is his date? Why is she sad? How long have they been together? What's their story, individually, and together?
Sorry if it seems like I'm harping on this, but it's super-important
Flat characters aren't saved by pretty writing, if they can be salvaged at all. And these aren't even flat characters; they're outlines.